Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
