So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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