Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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