haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
