singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
