fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
