He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im holly from the hills drunk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
