Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
