I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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