careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize