Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
