PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
