I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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