my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
