is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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