She said her name was "party"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize