I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
