did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize