Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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