Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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