i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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