And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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