I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
