Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
