Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
