If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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