Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
