3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize