I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
