Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
