I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
