my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
