Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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