i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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