and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
