I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
