You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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