I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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