is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
