yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize