the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
