remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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