I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize