Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
