he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
