am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
