I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
