It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
