he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
