she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Randomize
