at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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