go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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