i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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