One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
