So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
