I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize