i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
