Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think your dad took our porno
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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