Moan for me like Helen Keller
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
