Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
