just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
